codependency

I kinda get the feeling 

you don’t wanna talk to me anymore.

if I’m honest, a lot of people 

don’t wanna talk to me anymore.

I think I’m just a person 

who gets very attached easily.

because I put so much emphasis of 

care, love, and value on my peers

it hurts whenever I see that they cannot

reciprocate that same emphasis

I’m at a stage where I know my value

and am independent in everything else 

I just really value companionship.

maybe I need to stop viewing friendships as stronger than they actually are

and accept that the bond I am looking for

does not exist.

guess that’s why I went no contact

because I’m scared that I’ll get attached

and my expectations for friendship 

will never be satisfied.

and even without contact

I’ve never forgotten about my peers

and my love for them never fades

I internalize our memories

and celebrate us inside of my heart

but 9/10 times I get it wrong

thanks to the lack of social cues

and now I fear of expressing vulnerability

or I’ll just get left on read in the group chat

just something else to work on.