the leap (part one: penance)

these next few lines, I’m going to crash out.

I miss my braids so I might get extensions

dressing up makes me feel good for a little while

it’s getting harder to get out of bed,

so I’m boarding the plane to see my brother in the mountains

don’t worry, I’ll see you next summer

and cigs are calling to me like the goblin mask

constant overstimulation means defaulted understimulation

still i treasure subtleness

ask myself why I have no more questions,

and if I can’t say anything,

shouldn’t I just leave the conversation?

no tears to shed though a sob would do wonders

but when do I have time to work on myself

if I got work the next day?

so what’s stopping me from self imploding?

it’d be funny if you found out about the demolition suddenly

I mean, I ask mutuals to call you because you’d be more prone to answering

while you call me directly just about work

for two years, i told myself i was paranoid

so now whenever I lay on the bench,

I question if I should use the suicide grip and let the weight strangle me

at least I’ll be imortalized

but, it’s all just.

by December, he’ll ask to sacrifice isaac in moriah

and I’ll accept it honorably

feeling rebirthed knowing i am scarred